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by drunkenfists



Category: Naruto
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Hatake Kakashi-centric, Mutual Pining, Porn with Feelings, Protective Hatake Kakashi, a little angsty, a little bit of genma love will get sprinkled in here, kakashi is soft boy, sexual-tension, slight slow burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-05
Updated: 2020-09-05
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:27:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,253
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26293381
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/drunkenfists/pseuds/drunkenfists
Summary: "𝙝𝙤𝙢𝙚 𝙞𝙨 𝙬𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧 𝙞'𝙢 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙮𝙤𝙪"Kakashi never knew how 'home' was supposed to feel, but if he had to take a guess, he thought it might be something like when he held her in his arms.
Relationships: Hatake Kakashi/Original Character(s), Hatake Kakashi/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 24





	Home

Kakashi had felt empty for a long time - I mean a really long time. What was once a body full of life was now just an endless pit, leaving him an empty shell of a man. His brain had become a graveyard of memories that he couldn’t escape, filled with the remains of those he loved. Sakumo, Minato, Obito, Rin; it was no big surprise he turned out this way. It’s more than a single person should ever have to go through, ninja or not, and yet, here Kakashi stood, a strong Shinobi - one of the Hidden Leaf Village’s best and brightest, you know. He sometimes wondered if they had noticed the spark leave his eyes all those years ago, or if they just simply didn’t care. The ninja prodigy did quite well for himself as far as the village was concerned. He was their fearless ninja, though they never quite understood that his bravery masked a general disregard for his own life. The more dangerous the mission the better, but life was never kind enough to Kakashi to give him the easy way out. Still, despite the words of praise he received, the ranks he climbed higher in, the successful missions he led.... something never quite felt right. He never felt right.

He had accepted years ago that this was how things were supposed to be. The secret whispers behind his back eventually faded as the year passed, but in the back of his mind there was always something reminding him of what he was: Friend Killer Kakashi. After the mistakes he’d made, he deserved to be alone. He couldn’t get hurt, and they wouldn’t die like everybody else he let get to close. Keeping everyone at an arm’s length had become second nature to Kakashi. And then, just when his heart was ready to shrivel up, he met the genin of Team 7 and they kicked and screamed their way into a place Kakashi hadn’t let anyone in a long time. When he looked at them, he was reminded of his old teammates and himself, his fallen comrades, and it pushed him to be a better sensei. He promised himself he would never let anything like that happen to the three of them. Kakashi knew he wasn’t the best person when it came to confronting his feelings, but he knew that over the time of being their sensei, he had grown to love them. All of them. They had shown him what it felt like to have a family again - well, as close to the feeling of family Kakashi could get. But like Kakashi knew all too well by now, good things never lasted long.

It had been nearly two and a half years since Sasuke left the village to join Orochimaru, Naruto began training with Jiraiya, and Sakura became Lady Tsunade’s apprentice. Kakashi’s days of being a sensei to the young team were on hiatus, and Kakashi quickly noticed just how quiet his life was without them in it. He fell back into his old routine pretty quickly after they left. Training, missions, repeat. Return to an empty house to sit on the couch and reread Makeout Tactics. Stare at the ceiling and contemplate the meaning of his existence for a bit, then quickly brush off any feelings of existential dread with more Icha Icha. He didn’t want to admit it, but he was lonelier than usual without Naruto, the hyperactive knucklehead with a personality that could fill the whole room. He went to visit Sakura occasionally, but she was busy training hard with the Hokage. And Sasuke, well…

In short, Kakashi was lonely as fuck. Yeah, he’d tried the dating game here and there but nothing more than a physical relationship ever worked out for him. Kakashi tries to come off cool and collected, which he likes to think he is most of the time, but the guy gets in his own head a lot when it comes to other people. If there were Jonin superlatives, his would be: Most Likely To Self-Sabotage A Relationship. And so, Kakashi stopped bothering, but that still didn’t mean that he didn’t want somebody special in his life, that he didn’t crave somebody. Someone who could hold him when his nightmares got to be too much, and he’ll be honest, that happened a lot. More nights than not, he wakes up in cold sweats, tears streaming down his face, a scream almost slipping from his lips but not quite because he catches himself just in time. Someone who can see his scar, his face, his eyes, and understand the good and bad in him and accept it all - and he’ll be honest again, he knew there was a lot of bad that came with him. The things he’s done… he’s not surprised that there’s nobody throwing rocks at his window to confess their love for him. Knowing that, Kakashi retreated back into himself. It was what he knew best, after all. Keeping people at a distance hadn’t done him wrong so far. It was just the way things had to be - or that’s what he told himself, anyway.

Until he met her. He was reading in the park, enjoying being back home from a mission and the nice weather the day had brought the village. When he went to turn the page, something caught his eye. He saw her. Her, with an aura so warm and bright that he could feel her from all the way down the street. If this were one of his Icha Icha Paradise novels, he’d bet that it was a sign from the Gods, with their beam of light shining down on her as if to tell him, ‘she’s right here, idiot.’ He looked up at the sky and smirked. Noted. But this wasn’t a novel, and he knew that, so he shook his head and turned his attention back to his book. He stared at the pages, not registering a single word in front of him. Something about her was pulling him in, and he knew if he didn’t go talk to her he wouldn’t be able to sleep at all that night.

His body started moving before his brain could catch up, and next thing he knew he was performing the hand signs for a summoning jutsu before a small pug appeared before him. Kakashi didn’t waste even a second before explaining to Pakkun what he needed. Pakkun’s mission was clear: go up to the pretty girl and get her attention, maybe dazzle her with his cute paws or something, and then that would be Kakashi’s ‘in’ to go talk to her. Girls love dogs, right? The ninken only stared, dumbfounded at the words coming from the Shinobi’s mouth. He’d seen Kakashi devise countless brilliant plans, but this… was not one of them.

“Boss, you know you can just… go up to her and say hello, right?”

Kakashi paid no attention to the ninken, he was too focused on the dark haired woman making her way down the street, closer and closer to where he and Pakkun were seated near the park. Pakkun rolled his eyes, silencing his protests and getting to work. He’d never seen Kakashi act like this over anything except for his novels, so he thought, if anything, it would make for a good show. He ran over to her and immediately caught her attention as he playfully wiggled his butt before rolling over onto his stomach in front of her feet.

“Oh, hello! Aren’t you a handsome ninja?” Kakashi heard the dark haired girl squeal with excitement as she knelt down to pet Pakkun. Pakkun immediately rolled over onto his back, his tongue hanging out of his mouth ever so slightly as he enjoyed the superb belly rubs he was being given. “I’m Mai, and you are?”

“I’m Pakkun, pleased to meet you, my lady.”

So, Mai was her name. Kakashi smiled softly, trying to watch nonchalantly from the park bench as Pakkun offered his paw to the pretty lady, “I’ll let you feel my paws. Aren’t they so soft and supple?”

The girl began giggling as she placed her hands on his toe-pads. “Wow, you’re right, they totally are!”

Kakashi knew it was time to go up to them. If he waited any longer, he was afraid he might change his mind and retreat back to his house. Kakashi approached them, hands in his pockets, just as the girl began offering the ninken snacks, “Oh, there you are, Pakkun.”

He acknowledged the woman with a closed-eyed smile and a quick wave. When she looked up at the silver-haired ninja, he could see her dark green eyes twinkle from the sun. Her dark hair went down past her shoulders, wavy and untamed, and Kakashi wondered how it would look draped across his pillows as she laid next to him. Her cropped, olive green sweater hung off one of her shoulders ever so slightly, and a sliver of her stomach peaked through the fishnet tank top she wore underneath. Trailing down, he paused. The way she was kneeling to pet Pakkun, her skirt bunched up around her tan thighs, exposing her spandex shorts underneath just enough for Kakashi’s mind to wander, thinking about what it would be like to run his hands along them, to grab them, or what it would be like for them to straddle-

He cleared his throat, scratching the back of his neck nervously at his thoughts. “Sorry if my ninken bothered you at all, he likes to wander sometimes.”

The ninken gave him a nasty side eye and grunted an ‘uh huh’ before proceeding to sit next to the girl’s feet, flashing a taunting smirk back at Kakashi. She looked down at Pakkun to give him another adoring pat before looking back up at Kakashi, “It’s no bother at all, especially when he’s as cute as this fella.” Pakkun winked at Kakashi before rolling back over onto his back, inviting Mai to rub his stomach again.

“Yeah, Kakashi,” Pakkun said, “and she gives the best belly rubs, too!”

A laugh escaped her lips, the lips that Kakashi had become hyper-aware of. Her laugh brought a smile to Kakashi’s face, and he decided then that it was a sound he could hear every day. He watched her lips curl upward as she flashed him a toothy grin. Her smile was big and bright, and maybe a little crooked, but you would only notice if you stared too hard like Kakashi was.

Sticking out her hand, her words came fell off her tongue, sweet as honey, “I’m Mai Yamahana.” Kakashi took her hand in his, “I’m Kakashi Hatake.”

Mai Yamahana. Why did that name sound familiar? He knew he’d heard that clan name before, but he couldn’t place it no matter how hard he thought. Mai Yamahana. Mai Yamahana. Kakashi repeated the words in his head, as if to burn them to his memory forever. He loved the way it sounded, it was better than any name Master Jiraiya could come up with for his books.

Her hands were small, so much smaller than his own that they practically engulfed hers, but he liked it. Her grip was firm and he could feel the callouses on her hands - it made Kakashi wonder what kind of force the smaller being in front of him possessed. He could tell from the muscle tone of her legs that she was strong, possibly a fellow ninja from the bandage wrapped around her other hand, but he didn’t see a headband anywhere on her..

“Are you visiting the village? I’ve never seen you around before, and you’re someone I think I would remember.” Kakashi flashed another smile, his cheeks burning and he wasn’t thankful she couldn’t see. He could hear Pakkun chuckling softly at him but he paid no mind to the small ninken. Kakashi watched as her cheeks flushed with a rose tint as she looked at her feet before looking back up at him with a big grin.

“I’m actually here to seek residence from the Fifth Hokage,” she was standing taller now, as if reminding herself of her purpose and the real reason she was here, “I’m here because I want to train under Lady Tsunade and become an even better medical-nin!”

The small burst of enthusiasm reminded him of Naruto and for a split second, he felt a ping in his heart. It was only a few short months until Naruto returned and Kakashi hoped his training was going well. He knew Naruto leaving was essential, but Kakashi couldn’t help but be excited for him to return to the village and be a team again. He cocked his head at the girl, “You’re a medical-nin?”

“Yes, I am!”

So I was right, Kakashi thought, she is a ninja.

“Well, actually I-” Herl smile dropped and her eyes darkened, and it shocked Kakashi to see her shift from her otherwise cheerful composure. He didn’t know why the girl was frowning, but the sight made him uneasy.

“I used to be one for the Hidden Mountain Village but…” Mai chuckled nervously, causing Kakashi to raise his eyebrow, “but that’s a story for another day.”

Kakashi wanted to know more. He wanted to know everything about the pretty girl in front of him. Why are you no longer a Hidden Mountain Village Shinobi? Do you read Icha Icha? Has everyone you’ve ever loved died too?

Mai felt herself shrink under his stare, cursing herself for speaking without thinking. She shrugged off her thoughts, quickly painting a smile back on her face, and gave him a thumbs up, “But things are lookin’ up now! I have a meeting with her first thing tomorrow morning! I’m gonna plead my case and hope she takes me on!”

Shei could see the smirk through his mask as he leaned in closer to her, and in a low voice said, “Well, I’m hopeful she’ll accept you. It would be nice to see you… you know, around the village.”

He wanted to kick himself. He wasn’t even out of her presence yet and he was already excited about the possibility of seeing her again. Pathetic. He had no clue what had come over him, but he did know one thing: he needed to talk to the Hokage in the morning.

“I’m hopeful, too!” That goofy grin again. Kakashi wanted to melt.

At this point, Pakkun had seen as much as he could handle of the poor Shinobi pining over the girl, and with the belly rubs at a halt, he had no reason to stick around. With a grunt, he stood from his spot next to Mai’s feet, “Boss, since my work here is done, I’m gonna head out. Goodbye Mai, I hope I see you again soon!” With that, Pakkun vanished with a ball of smoke.

Kakashi turned his attention back to Mai, his stomach dropping as he gathered the balls to make a move - to say anything to keep her near him longer, “If you’d like, I could, uh, show you around the village.”

“Are you sure you have the time? I wouldn’t wanna be a bother to busy Shinobi like you,” she motioned to his vest, “I’m sure I could figure it out on my own.”

She was talking quickly. Kakashi couldn’t tell if she was nervous or perhaps just cut from the cloth as Naruto.

“I absolutely have the time.” He nodded, before freezing for the slightest moment as he thought to his newest novel he had to finish. He quickly shrugged it off as he motioned for them to walk towards the market.

The two walked around the Hidden Leaf village until the sun began to set, making small talk about life in Konoha. He was shocked to see her stop every time they passed a flower growing in the wild, pulling a notebook out of her backpack with an excited smile on her face as she took notes before plucking a flower off and pressing it in her book. When she caught him staring the third or so time it happened - he’d started to lose count - she sheepishly looked up at him, “Sorry, I-I study botany and there are just so many flora here that I’ve never seen in person!”

He didn’t care. He watched her eyes shut as she leaned to smell the bright red flower in front of her before feverishly scribbling notes into her book. Kakashi had never really been one to like plants. It’s not that he disliked them, either. He just never gave them a second thought when he passed them but ,standing here now, watching Mai study the plant with so much intent, he thought they were really rather beautiful. The flowers weren’t bad, either.

He showed her the Academy, the training grounds, the hospital (a place he’d come to know all too well over the years), and lastly, Ichiraku Ramen, until the time came for Kakashi to walk her to the village Inn and end their evening. Kakashi walked extra slow, relishing every minute he had in the girls company. He could’ve been imagining things, but he thought she was purposefully walking slow, too.

“Well, thank you for showing me around. You’re an excellent tour guide, they should pay you more just for that.” She chuckled, ever so slightly nudging him with her elbow. It was the smallest touch, but it was enough to heat Kakashi’s cheeks.

“Your company was payment enough. I learned more about plants tonight than I have in my whole life.” He winked, nudging her back.

He’d never been the best with feelings. Sure, he could read about someone else’s feelings all day long - in fact, he loved to do so. But, when it came to understanding his own, to be able to put them into words... that wasn’t his strong suit. So when he stood there at the entrance of the Inn, standing face to face with Mai, he couldn’t figure out why exactly he was so drawn to this girl. She was beautiful, of course, but Kakashi had seen a lot of beautiful people and never felt like this. He felt lighter around her, like for just a split second, the weight of his mistakes weren’t bearing down on his shoulders. And it was nice.

Staring down at her, he couldn’t stop wondering what it would be like to kiss her. He wondered if she’d like it if he pushed her against the door of her room, his body pressed into hers, his hands gripping her face as he pressed his lips to her ears, whispering every little thing he’d been thinking about since he met her and-

“Well, goodnight, Kakashi. Thank you again for showing me around.”

Kakashi’s thoughts ended abruptly, and he’d hoped she hadn’t noticed him staring at her lips. “Goodnight, Mai Yamahana. I’d say good luck tomorrow morning, but I have a feeling you’re not one to need luck.”

Kakashi took the longer route home that night, enjoying the way the stars were extra bright, illuminating the village. When he returned to his house, he went straight to his bed to read himself to sleep, hopeful to get his mind off of these weird feelings, but his eyes roamed to the window every few paragraphs. He wondered if she felt it also, that weird pull when they met. He sighed and slammed his book shut. All of this Icha Icha was getting to his head. Damnit, Jiraiya.


End file.
